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re:generation QuarterlySweat of Your Brow
Winter 1996

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Dropping the Ball: One Lawyer's Refusal to Juggle Career and Family



Like many women today, I came of age believing that both childbirth and child rearing could be painless. Just as the judicious use of breathing techniques could eliminate the discomforts of labor, the availability of quality child care could eliminate the need to make wrenching choices between career and family.

Forty hours of grueling labor with my first child were enough to destroy all confidence in the efficacy of breathing techniques. Likewise, the unexpected force of my desire to nurture and protect my infant son and the primal ache I experienced when separated from him caused me to reassess all the facile plans I'd made to mesh motherhood and career.

Still, how could I give up the legal career in which I'd invested so much? Before having my first child, I'd sweated my way through law school, obtaining a merit scholarship, high grades, and a seat on the editorial board of the law review. When my first child arrived, I was working long days and even longer nights as an associate at one of the country's leading law firms.

Aware of my desire to spend more time with my child, my law firm arranged for me to do some of my work from a computer at home. Further, I was told I could work on a part-time schedule and still remain on track for partnership.

Even on a purportedly part-time basis, however, my work as a litigator was stressful and frenetic. As the months passed, my job devoured more and more of my time. Increasingly, I began to wonder whether there might be a fundamental incompatibility between the needs of my child and the demands of my profession.

Coming Home

Although I had been mulling over protean approaches to combining job and family for months, one event in particular served as the catalyst for my decision to give ...



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