Sex Summer 1995

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Just as the Digital Age's electronic bit is either one or zero, postmodern relationships are more likely than in generations past to be "on" or "off." Hot or cold. Wildly passionate or emotionally barren. Far less likely today than in yesteryear is that relationships are nurtured continuously. If afforded the circumstances, so-called "Generation-Xers" engage in relationships in short, intermittent bursts.

Recognize the condition? Welcome to "digital relationships"! Today's digital phenomenon corresponds to a fundamental aversion to being in relationship. We find it hard merely "to be" in relationship with another: to commit to, to depend upon, to experience life together.

In stark contrast, Jesus promised to care for us eternally, whatever happened: "I am with you always, to the end of the age." In his teachings and by his own example Christ called his followers to embrace what might today be termed an "analog" understanding of relationship. In this model the ups and downs of relational joys and disappointments require an ongoing commitment to love the other.

When Jesus commanded his followers-not insignificantly, his Bride-to "abide in me," he bid us enter into deep, holistic communion, not a one-nighter. Our tendency to dart in and out of relationships prevents us from maintaining an entire spectrum of intimacy. Yet, if we cannot "be" in relationship, can we really love? Sadly for today's digital relaters, how we relate, Jesus tells us, defines who we are and are not: "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Loving enables being.

Being in relationship. Why is it so difficult? Why is it increasingly a rarity? First of all, being in relationship is demanding: "Love is patient; ...

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