The Wilderness of the Candidate
Ben Patterson
A good vocation is simply a firm and constant will in which the called person has to serve God in the way and in the places to which Almighty God has called him.
Francis de Sales
Once the decision has been made to move, the external call becomes more preoccupying than the secret call, at least for a short time. Perhaps because of this intrusion, many pitfalls lurk within the candidating process. It's easy to become cynical. Ben Patterson, pastor of Irvine (California) Presbyterian Church, remembers:
"The contrast between my ordination and some of my early candidating was marked. My ordination was an incredible experience. I had been a student who got either A's or F's. I would do something very well, build up everyone's expectations, and then turn around to do something totally irresponsible. Even the people I knew best, who really believed I was called to ministry, were totally befuddled by the way I behaved sometimes. So my ordination was a time for a collective sigh of relief from them—and myself as well."But when it came to candidating, I was suspicious of the church. I guess I'd learned it from talking to pastors who told me the organized church had stuck it to them. They were poorly paid and unappreciated. Thus, I went into candidating with a pretty hard-nosed attitude: You're going to pay me right, you're going to give me time off, you're going to recognize my uniqueness, etc. I was terribly protective of myself. So were a lot of my seminary classmates."
Patterson blushes to review those days now, calling himself not only unrealistic but also far from his own view of the high calling.
"The only healthy part of my attitude was that I really wanted the church to know my faults. I had gotten hurt in previous situations ...
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