Interpersonal Risks
Nothing in this lost world bears the impress of the Son of God so surely as forgiveness.
Alice Carey1
Many conflicts, from the sublime to the petty, fall under the category of interpersonal. At times pastors must referee parties disputing issues of significance for the entire congregation. One pastor described his involvement this way:
"Right now one of the elders, a powerful man, is angry about the way one of our young people dresses for Communion. The elder is angry almost to the point of leaving. Since we serve Communion every week, it is not just an occasional problem. The boy in question has been on the verge of rebellion for a couple of years. His parents are not pleased with some of his friends. They wish he would spend more time with the church youth group.
"One expression of his rebellion is his dress — jeans, T-shirt, long hair. I think the boy, by dressing the way he does, is asking the church, 'Am I acceptable to you, or do you want to put me in a tight box?' In my judgment, it is more important for us to say, 'Yes, you are acceptable,' than to enforce a tight dress code. That's the position I have taken.
"That position has created some fallout. This elder has had things pretty much his way for a long time. He may leave. I've taken steps to prevent that. I went to the father of the boy and said, 'Here's the situation, and this is the stand I've taken. Be aware that it is creating some hard feelings.' It's a way of asking him, when he hears his son criticized, to not lash out or overreact.
"I also had lunch with the elder. I told him this was the stand I'm taking because I want the church to send a good message to all the kids. I told him I knew he didn't agree with my decision. Then I said, 'Alex, what do you think ...
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