To Intervene or Not to Intervene
In one of George MacDonald's books, there is a woman who has met a sudden sorrow. "I wish I'd never been made!" she exclaims petulantly and bitterly: to which her friend quietly replies, "My dear, you're not made yet. You're only being made — and this is the Maker's process."
James S. Stewart
Sometimes pastors regret stepping in. Despite pure motives and a deep desire to help, their well-intentioned intervention can at times do more harm than good.
Earl and Edna Waring were in their forties, and they were childless. David Lindquist, their pastor, also noticed — with everyone else — their penchant for public bickering.
In the adult Sunday school class, Earl would joke about looking forward to the church potluck "so I can finally get a decent meal." Edna would counter, "I'm just glad the church has a full-time janitor to clean the floor after you've eaten." The rest of the class would laugh nervously. The humor did not quite cover the barbed intent.
David wondered how he could help Earl and Edna relate to one another without continual put-downs. One day he stopped by their house and asked pointblank, "Sometimes you two seem unhappy with each other. Why is that?"
"We're not unhappy," Earl said.
"Around the church, people perceive you that way, and so do I," said David. "You bicker about money in Sunday school. You publicly ridicule each other's appearance. Last Sunday, Earl, in front of your wife, you told me, 'Edna can't cook worth a lick, which wouldn't be so bad if she'd only make the beds, but she never does.' It's wearying. But even worse, I worry about what it's doing to your relationship."
Earl and Edna didn't seem to take it seriously. David left, but he was determined to try again. He knew that often people needed time to ...
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