Winning the War for Family Time
God, who is liberal in all his other gifts, shows us, by the wise economy of his providence, how circumspect we ought to be in the management of our time, for he never gives us two moments together.
François Fenelon
Time is what we want most, but what, alas, we use worst.
William Penn
Ministers who want to make the most of their family time immediately bump into a complication: the skills required for being a loving parent and spouse — cheerful leadership, attentive listening, nourishing words, caring — are the same ones demanded by the pastorate. This can be an advantage if the nurturing skills developed in ministry can be applied to the family.
But it can be a decided disadvantage if the "people helper" finds his people-helping capacity given over to the church family during the day and depleted by the time he leaves the office. The family gets whatever happens to be left over.
Keith Meyer, who pastors in Maple Grove, Minnesota, said, "One day, half an hour after I'd walked in the door, my son came up to me and said, 'Are you home yet, Dad?' He knew it took me a while to reenter the family after a day at the church."
Other pastors know the feeling of "not being all there" even when they're there. No one is happy with a half-attentive zombie. Are there ways to improve the quality of our time with our families?
Strategies for Quality Control
The first strategy is to be sure that at the end of the day you bring something home: a healthy attitude. That can begin before you ever leave the church.
One pastor in Canada makes sure to work off some of his tension before he gets home. "Sitting at my desk all day is a sure way to guarantee I'll be edgy when I come home," he said. "So now I make sure I take a brisk walk sometime during the ...
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