When Family Tensions Affect Ministry
The most irritating experience an artist can have is to have his work criticized before it is finished.
Andrew Wyeth
As we've seen, the ministry has an effect, both positive and negative, on a pastor's family life. But the converse is also true: family life can have a profound effect on ministry. In the next three chapters, we'll look at the burdens and benefits that family relationships can bring to ministry.
One of the toughest burdens can be family tensions. Consider the story of this pastor from California:
We were eating lunch in a favorite Chinese restaurant. My son was nineteen, good looking, and engaged to an attractive woman four years his senior, whom he had met at Bible college. We thought he was too young for marriage and had expressed our concern. "Give yourself and your relationship more time to mature," we said. But when you're nineteen and the future spreads before you …
"Dad, we're going to have a baby."
Time stood still.
"I'm sorry to hurt you like this. We're going to get married right away."
We sat quietly, picking at food, grasping for thoughts. An image flashed through my mind: our son's future, in the form of water and sludge, rushing down an open drain. Pull yourself together, I told myself. I excused myself from the table to make a phone call. Then I dialed the church office and spoke in controlled tones to the familiar voice at the other end so as not to betray the inner turmoil.
"Kill the announcement of my new sermon series, will you? I've been having some second thoughts."
"I'm sorry, Pastor. It's already gone to press."
"Okay," I replied after a moment. "I'll deal with it later. Please let my wife know that I've had lunch with our son and we'll be leaving for home in a few minutes. It is important for ...
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