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Leadership BooksLeading Your Church Through Conflict and Reconciliation

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 ARTICLE TOOLS

Animal Instincts




We all develop survival responses in threatening situations.
—Norman Shawchuck and Bob Moeller

The women's ministries board was meeting, and you could cut the tension with a spatula.

"If the church won't provide baby-sitters for the Friday Bible study, I won't be coming back," Susan said, her voice trembling with anger. "I don't need to spend my Friday mornings in a nursery, changing diapers and holding crying babies, when I can do that at home. I come here for a break, not more work. And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Other young mothers besides me are planning to quit the Bible study unless the church begins providing paid child care."

"Susan," said Helen, an older woman on the board, "I think I understand why some of the older women oppose paying baby-sitters. They're concerned about the costs. When we were your age, we all took turns in the nursery. None of us expected a free ride. While I don't necessarily agree, some feel your generation isn't willing to make sacrifices.

"But I have an idea. Why don't the mothers care for the nursery one week, and the other week we'll pay for child care from the dues gathered at Bible study?"

"That's not good enough," Susan said firmly. "It's fully-funded child care every Friday, or we walk."

"I think we should drop the whole issue and plan our fall retreat," Denise said nervously, sitting at the other end of the table. "We're all believers, and we shouldn't be arguing like this. Someone will get hurt."

The group paused for a moment, then went on with the debate.

"Excuse me," Denise whispered, "I just remembered my son forgot his lunch at home today." She stood and hurriedly exited the room, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

"I think this whole problem is my fault," Iola said. "When ...



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