Gregg's Other Life
Would our fragile church survive if it learned the worship leader's tragic secret?
Jeff W. Smith
July 1, 2003
You don't look well," the waitress said while pouring my fourth cup of coffee.
"I feel sick," I admitted, and immediately rushed for the men's room and lost my breakfast. For weeks I had been riding tidal waves of anxiety. But now I was drowning, going under for what I hoped wasn't the last time.
As I knelt before the porcelain altar, I desperately cried out to God once more: "Help me, I'm in over my head. I don't know what to do."
I was three days away from the launch of a new church in the Seattle suburb of Bellevue, Washington.
As a high school senior in Bellevue 15 years earlier, I sensed a call to ministry. The community of Bellevue puzzled me. People lived comfortable and affluent lifestyles, but seemed unfilled. My classmates had everything, but something seemed missing.
Several students became friends, including Kay, my typing partner. I prayed for her often, "God, help me help her find you." Yet, she didn't seem to need God; she had it all.
After graduation I left Bellevue, but Bellevue didn't leave me. I kept thinking about returning some day to minister in the community.
I was an associate pastor in Salem, Oregon, when a denominational exec took me to lunch. "Would you and your wife consider planting a church?"
I looked at him blankly.
"To celebrate our centennial," he continued, "we're starting 100 new churches on Easter Sunday next year. We've targeted five strategic cities and you've been recommended for one of them. What do you think?"
I loved the church I was serving, but I had to ask, "What city?"
"Bellevue, Washington. I think you and your wife would be a good fit."
My wife and I prayed about it and agreed that God was leading. We moved and had six months to find a core team to prepare for the launch.
With eight weeks ...
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