 |  Putting the pieces together for today's households
Spring 2002
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Ministry's Deadly Undertow
by Linton Lundeen
April 1, 2002
Did Jesus ever say to himself, "Oh, no! Not him again"? Maybe not, but I sure have.
As the associate pastor of care and counseling for our church, I'm immersed every day in what I refer to as the deadly d's—death, depression, distress, debt, disease, church discipline, divorce, and general disobedience.
In the summer of 1998, the deadly d's almost drowned me.
I was called as a growing church plant's first associate pastor. I began with varied responsibilities. As we grew and added more staff, I delegated many of my duties to focus on counseling. I was honing in on my passion. But I soon discovered that the accumulated weight of other people's burdens made full-time counseling much more difficult than part-time.
That summer, the weight was pulling me under. I was carrying too many burdens, and I felt wounded as criticism and conflict shook my confidence. I'd seen anxiety and had heard others describe panic attacks, but this time I was the anxiety-ridden one. My heart was racing, my body shaking. Doubt gripped me: What have I gotten myself into? Maybe I'm not cut out to do this.
Something had to change. The congregation would continue to come to me with their problems, and the severity of the problems would only escalate. Amid the perpetual stream of wounded, troubled, and chronically needy people, how could I avoid cynicism and maintain a joyful spirit? I knew I had to come up with long-term solutions for serving those under my care without drowning in the despair.
Through my crisis of faith, I found some safeguards that preserve my joy and my wits when surrounded by deadly d's.
I'm no Atlas
Brad and I had known each other for a long time. He was a leader in our church, and we met together often. I respected him. One day he confessed ...
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