March (Web-only) 2003

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The dumped priest who wouldn't go away
According to Qatar News Agency, President George Bush, British Prime Minister Tony Blair, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, and British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw have all been forever banned from the Church of the Nativity, which tradition holds is the site of Christ's birth.

The ban is a protest against "the aggressive war these leaders have waged against Iraq," a priest named Father Panaritus told the news agency. "They are war criminals and murderers of children. Therefore, the Church of Nativity decided to ban them access into the holy shrine forever."

Don't be quick to believe the story. For one thing, a Google search for Panaritus turns up absolutely nothing, suggesting that this priest isn't someone with a lot of clout. (Islam Online spells it Banar Teyous, but that comes up empty, too.)

For another, the ban was initially reported as coming from Attallah Hanna, whom Islam Online calls "spokesman of the Orthodox Church in the Holy Lands." Liars. The Greek Orthodox Church has long distanced itself from Hanna, who was famously quoted as supporting Palestinian suicide bombers. He still has supporters in the church, but he's not the spokesman for anything but himself—but that won't stop the Arabic press from calling him the spokesman for Orthodox Christians in the Holy Land.

Islam Online also has a report from Hanna calling for U.S.-led soldiers in Iraq to "defy the orders of their commanders, refrain from striking Iraqi buildings, lay down their weapons, and go home." And he's particularly upset with Congress's call for a national day of humility, prayer and fasting. "The Senators and the Congressmen should better take the decision of pulling the barbaric and invading troops ...