The Pacynskis: Turning the Tables
The hazards of the previous section, though intensely personal and close-range, are still "objective" to a degree. They can be named, analyzed, compartmentalized. The personal stresses to which we turn now are more internal, less organized, more amorphous. They are harder to "blame on the church." They are the vexations of soul, the plagues that strike at selfdefinition, self-respect, security. Some of the ministry couples in the following pages talk about their struggles to define roles, to focus the contribution each has to make. Some deal with aloneness in the ministry. Some portray communication problems, getting beyond small talk to deep communion. Then, three separate case histories present the difficult subjects of temptation and unfaithfulness. Among the many definitions of love over the centuries, here is one with a bite to it: Love is giving someone your undivided attention. Wives need that. Husbands need that. More than one pastor who has come to realize the limits of sermons and meetings craves a deep fellowship with just one other person. His wife? Sometimes she is too busy mothering, leading the church women's organization, or working at a secular job. This situation, of course, is not nearly as frequent as the opposite case: a preoccupied husband and a deprived wife. But both cases are hard to bear. And both are dangerous. As in the other sections of this book, each vignette is followed by "Reflections." This time the source is David Seamands, longtime United Methodist missionary, then pastor, author, and now associate professor of pastoral ministries at Asbury Theological Seminary, Wilmore, Kentucky. For Greg and Kara Pacynski, neither the early hospitalization (chapter 5) nor the messy firing of a staff associate ...
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