Should We Fret the Back Door?
Why the departure of church members hurts me so.
Adam Hamilton
April 1, 2006
Looking at the return address, I knew this was one letter I did not want to open. The family had become increasingly critical of our church in recent months. Their body language in worship reflected their disappointment. Sure enough, their list of biting criticisms stung. Some of their points were valid, others completely off base. The letter ended with a request that we remove their names from our membership roll. I work at not being defensive while reading such letters. I pray, "God help me to learn from these persons and to hear what you need me to hear." At times I have called to talk with the individuals about their concerns. I have sat down with them in person, hoping that a face-to-face visit might be of value. Sometimes I respond with letters, offering information I hope will help, thanking them for sharing their comments, inviting them to reconsider their decision to leave, wishing them God's blessings as they go, and letting them know that the door is always open if they wish to return. As our church has grown larger, I am unable personally to follow up; our pastoral care leaders do most of this work. But several times a year, I make these calls. Sometimes, wonderfully, the folks have a change of heart. They sense that we listened to them and valued their input, or they see that things are not as they had assumed. Unfortunately, this does not always occur. While we welcome many new members into our church each year, we see others who drop out, withdraw, or fall away. Pastors speak of this phenomenon as the "revolving back door" of the church. In the secular world it is described as "churn." I carry a fair amount of guilt about our back door. I think to myself, If I were a better pastor, they would still be here; ...
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