Avoiding our Fathers, Hating Ourselves
David M. Thompson
July 1, 1999
In the comedy Big Daddy, Adam Sandler yells to a pale kid with a slick black Mohawk and Rodmanesque body piercings: "Hey, you! You hate your father … you hate your father!" The kid ignores Sandler for as long as he can stand it and then runs away whimpering. The scene never fails to draw big laughs. But in a country full of broken families, maybe we're laughing so we won't cry.I am fortunate -- I don't hate my father. There were countless times when I would walk into his study, plop his tattered baseball glove on his big oak desk, and run out the door knowing he would be at my heels, his paperwork left for another day. As a kid, a pop fly from Dad was expected, but as an adult, I am beginning to see the price my father paid for those games of catch. He missed many opportunities for personal success in order to participate in my life. Dad wanted me to nab his fastballs. But even more he wanted me to "grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man." Mom and Dad were involved in our neighborhood and small-town community in a number of ways, so they were constantly bringing me into the company of other adults. In addition, the three kids took turns accompanying Dad on his business trips. These cross-generational encounters made me desire the counsel of those who had gone before and gained some wisdom along the way. And whether or not they are our biological parents, I've concluded that older mentors are absolutely essential to mature Christian community.Recently, I was sitting in my hometown TCBY, having a smoothie with Dr. Samir Aziz, a native Egyptian whose parents and extended family still live in Cairo. Since I was preparing to study in Cairo, I wanted to chat briefly with him. We discussed Middle Eastern cuisine, ...
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