Explaining Unhappy Staff Departures
April 1, 1998
Several years ago our congregation said good-bye to one of its pastoral staff members who had been with us for less than a year. From the beginning, the pastoral relationship was troubled. Within two weeks of her arrival, both she and the people with whom she worked expressed pain, anger, and disappointment. My feelings at her departure alternated between sadness and relief. Unable to resolve the difficulties on our own, the church began to take sides and entrench positions. I asked our elders to hire a mediation team, consultants who specialize in church conflict. We needed help. Here we go again?
The consultants turned out to be worth every penny (and we paid dearly for their help). They helped us focus on unhealthy behavioral patterns and conflicting leadership styles, not on personalities. They also engaged the conflict early enough so the difficulties remained specific to one ministry area; the conflict did not spread throughout the church. The consultants uncovered some deep, systemic issues in the church, issues we are just now starting to address. One issue was a long history or pattern of inadequate closures with pastoral staff members. When the staff member resigned, her announcement triggered a number of reactions. One long-time member, obviously troubled, came to see me soon after the announcement. He surprised me, speaking not about the current situation but about a staff resignation from more than twenty years before! It was still not clear to him whether the staff member had been forced out or had voluntarily resigned. The secrecy surrounding that event led him to suspect the staff member had been forced out. But no one seemed to know for sure. The people who knew either died, moved, or weren't saying why. His "here ...
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