WHEN'S IT'S A SIN TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
Sometimes it's wrong to take the blame.
Name withheld
January 1, 1993
I sat in John and Brenda's living room absorbing their angry and unyielding stares. The thought kept running through my mind, What in the world am I doing here? On the surface I knew why. Some elders had suggested I visit the family to seek reconciliation. Brenda had been a relentless critic of my ministry, going as far as to stand in a public meeting and read this passage from Jeremiah: " 'Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture!' declares the Lord. … 'Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done.' " Though she stopped short of ending her reading with the words, "Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your presence," that was clearly her intent. A board action occurring just before I came as pastor had planted the seeds of conflict. Differences had arisen between a staff member and members of the board. This staff person had a small but loyal following in the church. Eventually the board asked the staff member to resign. Part of the reason was that "the new pastor will want his own staff." While I had not made the decision to oust this person, his followers held me responsible. In fact, it took me over a year to learn that his supporters were blaming me for his departure. This group and a few others became increasingly vocal in their opposition to my leadership. To them I was "not the person to lead this congregation." "All the love has gone out of this church," was their recurring refrain. "You don't seem to care so-and-so is leaving," was another charge. "We made a mistake when we called you." What reasons lay behind their animosity? The board and I groped for answers. Theological ...
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