The Hazards of Self-Reliance
Myron Chartier
January 1, 1984
Up until 1979, I honestly believed I could accomplish about anything I put my mind to, given enough time, tools, and support staff. My career, first as a campus pastor and then as a seminary professor, had advanced at a steady pace. Now there was talk of a major new doctoral program in marriage and family ministry, of which I would be the director if funding could be found. That January, I became aware that something was definitely wrong with my body. A consortium of doctors finally determined the problem: diabetes. Their immediate orders were to lose at least fifty-five pounds, change my diet, cut back to twelve hundred calories a day, begin exercising regularly, take medication, and start getting adequate rest. Diabetes would be with me till death, but in the meantime, its control was in my hands. I was suddenly forced to face my own mortality. I had always known I was a creature made by God, but now I was coming to terms with being a creature of space and time. I was frightened, discouraged, even depressed. Could I shed fifty-five pounds and keep them off? I had been heavy all my life. I had lost large amounts of weight before, but this time I could not afford to gain them back. This was life or death. That fall, the foundation grant came through: the green light was on for the doctoral program. My feelings split exactly down the middle. One part of me was exhilarated; this was my greatest opportunity yet. The other part of me was severely depressed. How would I find the energy and concentration to pull it off? The rebuilding of my health was not yet complete when Tim, our son, became very ill in January, l981. A viral infection of the inner ear threatened his whole nervous system. He was in and out of hospitals for the next ...
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