Who is My Enemy? Winter 2001

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I have been feeling a little stress lately, and have been pretty much willing to try anything it takes to get rid of the muscle spasms in my neck, the twitching eye, the sleepless nights, the daily fights, the quick toboggan when I reach the heights … whoops, there I go quoting Dr. Sinatra again.

Unfortunately most of the suggestions I can find for living a stress-free existence tend to prevent you from enjoying exactly the same lifestyle you currently possess. No, they want you to change things: do yoga, cook organic, quit your job as a high-powered corporate attorney and move to a secluded island off the coast of Maine to spend the rest of your days weaving, sea-kayaking, and foster parenting refugee children.

So just when it looked like I would have to do something really apocalyptic, like giving up caffeine, a brilliant thought hit me hard on the back of the head. Nothing says "no sweat" like the word aromatherapy. Just by smelling something I could get better, without any special exertion on my part. I can even walk, chew gum, and breathe at the same time-how hard could smelling be?

They say that the first step towards any sort of recovery is to admit you have a problem and ask for help, so one bright fall afternoon I took myself over to an upmarket chain store in Harvard Square and presented myself to one of the sales associates, a very pregnant woman of penetrating intensity.

Throughout our conversation she massaged her belly, I presume for the benefit of the child in utero. When I say massage I do not mean that she idly scratched where it itched. She was giving herself and Junior a very penetrating deep rub while she declaimed upon the virtues of aromatherapy. I will be frank; I found this somewhat disconcerting.

When ...

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